Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Back to school already!!!

I love summer, it is the only time I can be a slacker and feel OK about it. I mean, to me a good breakfast is when I actually heat up the pop tarts. But now it is back to school and I have to come face to face with the "perfect mom", you know her, she is usually blond, gets up at 5 am to jog 3 miles before rousing her 2.5 perfect children and adorable husband. She then feeds them a well balanced breakfast, drives the kids to school in her immaculate SUV. She then dashes off to the perfect job all without mussing her hair. That is so not me. I am the one dragging the little boy by his backpack to class while muttering swear words under my breath, oh and I usually have already spilled something on me.

So I have found a wonderful little "handbook" that will help you cope with the back to school blues, The Woman who is always tan and has a flat stomach: and other annoying people by Lauren Allison and Lisa Perry. This book helps you identify and coexist with amazingly perfect women such as:
  • The nutrition mom who needs to be resuscitated after finding out you fed her child a hot dog
  • The perfect stage mom who wants the kindergarten class to perform The Bitter Tears of Petra Von Kant
  • The perfect Halloween mom who carves 43 pumpkins in the image of the U.S. Presidents
  • The woman who has dinner completed every day by 10 a.m.
  • The culinary mom who brings crab aspic and red pepper coulis to her child's school for snacktime

After reading this book you and I can at least have a little chuckle when you come in contact with the Mrs. Perfects of the world - and don't feel bad about your little chuckle, because they are probably having a little chuckle too; because if you are like me you only put make up on one eye and your bra strap is showing - again.

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