Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Chillin' in the Mommyhood



Motherhood is not just a job; it is a disaster. My children have me trained so that I panic when everything is going WELL! If the elementary school doesn't not call me - I call them. When the high school calls I immediately ask if Jess is actually there, because getting a cell phone violation at least means she is in the building - a small victory I know. I guess crazy loves company because I enjoy reading books about other imperfect people...it makes be hold my head up a little straighter.

Mommy lit usually has a basic formula that I like:

  • A "regular" mommy struggling to keep up
  • One or more "perfect" mothers who make her feel inadequate

  • The"perfect" mom is either; murdered, faking the perfectness or becomes friends with the regular mommy (sometimes all three)
  • Dad is absent most of the time even though they are still married
Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA by Ellen Meister
Four completely different women come together for a common goal. They want their school to be the location for a movie starring George Clooney. High jinks and mishaps are plentiful in this fun book.

Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead by Saralee Rosenberg
Mindy has the worst neighbor, Beth. Beth has the worst neighbor, Mindy. This book is a suburban nightmare. This book is full of cute mishaps: unplanned pregnancy, in-laws, break ups and a long lost son. It is laugh out loud funny!

Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner
Kate Klein doesn't quite fit in to the Connecticut housewife clique. She is not as well groomed or as well organized as the other mommies, but when the queen bee invites her to lunch she thinks all will change. And it does, Kitty is dead in her kitchen. While Kate plays amateur detective she runs into her old flame and starts to question the life she chose.

Secret Desires of a Soccer Mom by Robyn Harding
Paige's friend Karen has an affair with a really HOT younger guy and Paige is a little jealous because her 12 year marriage is a little flat. The envy is quickly snuffed when Karen is murdered...yikes. Paige then decides to play detective and find Karen's killer, after all she watches TV cops shows.

Slummy Mummy by Fiona Neil
Lucy is so disorganized. She puts her contacts in a water glass by the bed and her husband drinks it. She brings store bought cookies to school instead of fresh baked. She gets her underwear caught in her pants and everyone sees it. She sends the entire class an email about her sex life. She hides in her car so that no one will know it is her car that is so messy and then a crowd forms wondering who left a kid in the car alone. Lucy is the British version of me.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Thanksgiving...the one day a year both me and a turkey are stuffed!


Turkey day is upon us again... kids screaming, tempers flaring, the smell of burning flesh...and I am not even talking about the bird. A day to be with family and be thankful for the important things like...gun control (I mean if insane people could get handguns half my family would be in jail and the other half, well you get the picture).

But I try to put a positive spin on it, I get to sit there for half a day and receive...well lets call them "tips" on how to be a better person. "Tips" from people who think both wrestling and Dolly Parton are real; Elvis is still alive; and the moon landing was faked in someone's garage...Jim can we just stay home and drink this year?

The Ghost at the Table by Suzanne Berne
This is a sad but probably realistic portrayal of a family coming together for one last Thanksgiving. Cynthia and Frances's dad has had a stroke, and his much younger wife is divorcing him. The sisters are getting his affairs in order so they can move him to an assisted living facility. Cynthia has always believed her father murdered their invalid mother years before. How do you ask someone to pass the dressing in this house?

Thanksgiving by Janet Evanovich

Now if you want fluff for Thanksgiving, this book is for you. Megan is a tour guide in Colonial Williamsburg, and Patrick is a pediatrician who is new to town. They meet when Megan has a run in with Patrick's rabbit. They are thrown together when an 18 year-old single mother leaves her baby in Patrick and Megan's (who she thinks is his wife) care. They are soon making Thanksgiving dinner together and, of course, falling in love.

Lazy Girl's Mac and Cheese

1-16 oz box of elbow macaroni
1 pound of sharp cheddar cheese (I get a block and grate it myself...or get Jim or the kids to do it)
6 eggs
1 quart of milk
Salt
Step 1:

Cook elbow macaroni like you cook macaroni...boiling water, salt the whole deal.

Step 2:

Yell into the living room that if they want any mac & cheese, someone may want to come in here and be shredding some cheese!

Step 3:

Drain noodles and then in a pan - 8x8 or 9x11 (you should have enough noodles to do either size) - put a layer of noodles on the bottom, then a layer of shredded cheese, then another layer of noodles, and then the rest of your shredded cheese. You can never have enough cheese.

Step 4:

In a regular drinking glass, crack 3 eggs and beat scramble them up real good. Then fill the glass the rest of the way up with milk, and stir the milk and eggs together.

Step 5:

Pour the egg mixture on top of the mac and cheese. You may have to make more egg and milk stuff because you need to keep pouring milk and egg in until it gets close to the top.

Step 6:

Bake at 375 degrees until it is golden brown and you can stick a fork in it and it is not runny. Usually about 45 minutes or until Jess comes down and says "Are you cooking macaroni and cheese?"

My children love it; they will not eat box mac and cheese because of this recipe...come on, make some for the family. I don't want to be the only one suffering.