Thursday, October 28, 2010

OK...I really think the producers of "The Middle" are basing their show on my life...where is my check?

"The Middle" is my new favorite show. I just laugh at Brick- the odd kid and Axl - the lazy teen who uses his textbook for a plate. I just laugh and snicker and fall into a delirious state all along thinking - this family is borderline dysfunctional, but cute and charming and that Patricia Heaton is so tiny and her husband on the show is so tall.

Well, watching an episode it occurs to us all at once (Jim, Jess, and Josh all watch it too), this show is like us.

So I started making a mental list of all the ways our family is like the Heck family, but since I cannot remember ANYTHING anymore I thought I should put pen to paper or at least chewed down fingernail to keyboard.

Ways we are like the Hecks:
  • I have used a magic marker to color my roots, I even used a marker on a dress once
  • My teenager was such a slacker in high school she almost added a fifth year to her high school experience
  • Our youngest is a little "different" so every year we have to go in and explain his oddities and then we are perceived as over parenting and it takes the entire year for us to prove we are slackers
  • The Hecks grocery shop at the "Frugal Hoosier" and Jim getting some groceries at Big Lots
  • We have gotten completely sloshed on Thanksgiving morning while frying the turkeys by putting liqueur in our coffee...Jim prefers Wild Turkey and I have found a gingerbread flavor
  • I wanted to be the "cool" parent who had my children's friends over only to discover that they find your cookie stash and you can never walk around in your jammies in the afternoon
  • Have turned out the cable only to find I suffered more than the kids...I know, what kind of kids am I raising?
  • Library books....I buy several library books a year only for Josh to "find" them later
  • The kids drive me so insane that even though they started the yelling contest it ends with me foaming at the mouth looking, well insane
  • We also talk about our day during commercials
I could go on and ABC are you secretly taping us in our natural habitat? Don't we get residuals or some kind of check for that. The cable bill is overdue and it is my night to make dinner and the drive thru is not cheap!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Donuts... do we need to say more!

I love donuts. I remember where I was when Krispy Kreme became a publicly traded company. They are good for breakfast and dessert. They are the clouds that hold you up when you are happy and your best buddy when you are sad. My favorite is chocolate covered cream filled....yummy!

I have also passed my love of all things Krispy Kreme to my loving family (I have been systematically brainwashing them over the years so I can rule the house). Jim likes Krispy Kreme coffee better than Starbucks...OK that is a little out there even for me, but he does take it black which to me is like drinking... well grumpy juice, so to each his own. Jess has gone through the drive thru so much she gets an employee discount on her iced coffee. Josh is a purest like me, just bring on the donuts! And if they are hot AHHHHHH!

It doesn't hurt that Krispy Kreme is a two minute drive from my house, although they have yet to implement my suggestion --- in addition to the "HOT" donuts sign in the window, it would really be great if they would get that spotlight beacon thingy, like the one Batman had. It would let us "donutties" when it is time to visit the mothership.

They even have donut books:

Glazed Murder by Jessica Beck
A mystery set in the North Carolina mountains. The book even has donut recipes and its author.s name is Jessica, not the main dead character. Finally!

Glazed America: a history of the doughnut by Paul R. Mullins
I think the book's title says it all!